People with herpes should wear stickers.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
