i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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