Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
