I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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