I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
