This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
