At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
