i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
