I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
