Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
