i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
