Can Purell be used as lube?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
When did angry sex become our thing?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize