People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
