we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
