theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
