We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize