Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I am midnight drunk by noon
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
