Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
