Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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