Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
