I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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