well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
