So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
4 words: hood of his car
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
