moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We need to rekindle our bromance
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
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