Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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