I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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