i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just found a bag of teeth...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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