I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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