It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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