More tranny stories later!
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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