the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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