how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
