I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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