he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
