I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
