Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Randomize
