i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
