Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
