You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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