never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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