Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
