And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
