Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
