Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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