I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
