We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
