Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
