He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
