then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We need to get me chipped asap
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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