i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize