another moral hangover. fuck.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
