Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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