A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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