Non-Jews are for practice
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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