so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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