im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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