True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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