East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
