this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
