I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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