Someone shit on the floor
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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