I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
