did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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