They should really pass out barf bags in church
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
