You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
