their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
