ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
