Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
